Flying thousands of feet in the air and looking over the vast landscape makes me ponder. I am so micro in the grand scheme of things. It’s so easy to be forgotten and washed away like the child’s sand castle that was made too close to the shore. “CRASH” comes a big wave....and the castle is gone, forgotten like a bad dream. So can my very own life if I get lazy and average. But no, I stand fast to weather the storm while the masses scoff at the ridiculousness of it all. They laugh from their couches and mediocre lifestyles without ever ascending to the summit of their potential.
Fear drives me in many directions, many times in the past stopping me from doing what I truly wanted. It’s still there, but instead I harness its force for good. Now what scares me isn’t the unknown, but becoming one of “them.” The ones who laugh at the idea of physical adversity that sometimes results in pain, personal turmoil and utter soul searching. Those that hate their jobs and in turn hate their very own lives. Moving to and fro the home and the workplace like a busy ant drone, unsure what the purpose of it all is. And those that settle and accept what is in front of them as fact, never questioning the endless possibilities.
I won’t....no, I refuse to leave this life and my memory be blown out like a flame in a lantern that is out of oil. I’d rather fail a thousand times than be too scared to even try once. Nowadays it’s just too damn easy to quit on anything and still live. I want something that’s hard, difficult and challenges my very soul and being. Easy is for the crowds, the masses, those that accept their position in life no matter how shitty it is. It’s for the content, those whose appetite is full and those who never question the expanse of possibilities.
I need to know everyday that life is but a fleeting moment, so as to live a life with passion. Most of “them” don’t, they instead accept their yearly allotted paid vacation to spend time with the family where they’re both at the brink of divorce in a timeshare that neither of them can afford. I instead want a life of purposeful discomfort and a passion filled with heart. So that one day my family and brothers will remember me not just for who I was as a person and the mark I left on them, but what I created out of the turmoil and anguish that filled me before I set out on this journey of self discovery.